wakey wakey hands off snakey
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Randomize
