I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
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