I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
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