I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
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