Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
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