We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Randomize
