Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
