I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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