just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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