Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
