I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Randomize
