I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
