Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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