The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
