Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Randomize
