Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
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I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
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not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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