I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
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