Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
