O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I love you. Go after that dick
Randomize
