puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
