My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.