i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
