The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
