I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
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LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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