My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
