Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
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It was like getting head from an anaconda
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
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How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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