I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Randomize
