During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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