whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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