1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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