I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
