Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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