Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
