in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize