I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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