this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
