it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
ttyl tear gas
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Randomize
