She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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