I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
We had sex on a dog bed..
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
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