hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
