she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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