She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
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