Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
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