first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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