And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
