I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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