I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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