there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
We smell like vodka and hangover
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