Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
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