I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
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