I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
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His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
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..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
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