how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
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