both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
