we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
