He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
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