He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
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