going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
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