I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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