There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
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a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
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